Friday 2 August 2019

More Tales From The Note Book

All is well at the Joneses' residence. We're still really busy but the good news is that Harry is cutting out a major part of our business at Christmas, so next year won't be so hectic.

It hasn't been all work and no play here. We enjoyed our European road trip and the concerts were wonderful. My mum celebrated her 92nd birthday a couple of weeks ago. She's doing pretty well, though I'm not sure how much longer she'll be able to carry on living alone. Our younger daughter bowled in for her annual visit last week. She's on a trip with a friend right now, coming back to us for a few days next week. And I can't count my blessings without mentioning a day out in London with Jan, Ronnie, Ami and Minelle, not to mention John, Dan and Minelle's Scotsman. Harry and P were unable to complete the lineup owing to prior commitments.

I'm scheduled for a 'reconnection' this evening. Other than that I've nothing to tell so, without  further ado, it's on with some more snippets from Rosie's notebook.

🌟I was a little unruly in the kitchen, prompting Harry to bend me over the table. He started spanking with his hand but soon felt in need of an implement. The utensil jar was out of reach so I wasn't expecting the feel of wood on my posterior...

R: Did you just smack me with the cheeseboard??
H: Yes (shows offending object) and I'm going to do it again!
R: But it's a real cheeseboard for displaying cheese, not for spanking!
H: I think you'll find you're wrong there...
R: Oww! Oww!

It hasn't been seen since - I think it may have fallen into the rubbish bin... 

🌟There was bizarre conversation when we were washing the dishes one evening:
H: I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to answer yes or no.
R: Okaay...
H: Nothing else, yes or no.
R: What's the question?
H: Did you use the good brandy in the Christmas puddings?
R: No.

You may be surprised to learn that that was the wrong answer. Christmas pudding is Harry's favourite and I make individual portions in batches of six, all year round. He's pretty serious about his puddings!

🌟An unexpected morning off:
H: So what are we doing?
R: I'm standing at the worktop watching you make breakfast and, well, you're...
H: Very funny - get over that table.

🌟Harry cooking dinner:
H: (Exasperated) How did I manage to splash the sauce on the tiles?
R: (To herself) It's a mystery.
H: I heard that - and I don't mean the words!

🌟Another dish washing episode:
We were going on holiday across the Channel and I wasn't convinced Harry had grasped some of the finer points of the preparations. He was patient up to a point but, after one "But what if..." too many, he put a finger to my lips and told me he had everything under control and I was to stop fretting. He replaced his finger with a kiss and sent me out of the kitchen with a couple of well placed swats.

Let's get away from that kitchen, it's a danger zone for me!

🌟A matter of perspective:
R: Harry's broken his right index finger.
R's sister: Oh, poor chap, it's so awkward when you can't use that finger.

R: Harry's broken his right index finger.
Blogging friend: Yikes! That means straight to a paddle.
She was right.

🌟Cuddling in bed before the alarm announced the start of the day:
H: What time is the table booked for this evening?
R: 7pm.
H: Don't put your makeup on before I get home...

🌟Over his lap - just for fun:
H: Your bottom is really smooth - do you think that spanking has banished the cellulite?
R: Sounds feasible.
H: Should I spank your thighs then?
R: No!
H: Just trying to be helpful...

🌟I got into BIG trouble for this one:
H: I see you brought the recycling bin in. Was that wise given your back problem?
R: The bin men came early and I didn't want it being blown into the road. It seemed a good idea at the time.
H: (Points upstairs).

🌟Sometimes you just can't win:
H: (Frowns and wags finger).
R: What? I thought I put my case diplomatically.
H: It's the smirk that will get you in trouble.  

I made a new batch of Christmas puddings today. No connection at all with the reconnection  at bed time...


Saturday 29 June 2019

Once Upon a Time 2

I wrote the original fairy tale back in 2016 and more recently posted it as a TBT.  If you missed it, you can read it here

A Knight's Tale

The knight was not happy. He had been busy all day but, now that business was done, his thoughts turned to his lady wife, Rosamund. He loved her more than life itself but, "Odd's bodkins!" she could be a handful.

He blamed her Grandam for spoiling her. Rosamund was the first of her grandchildren and never lost her favoured place in her grandmother's heart to any of the dozen that followed. Her father had dared not discipline his child for fear of falling foul of the old lady, under whose roof they all lived. The knight heard tell that the child had once been upset by a harsh rebuke from her sire, causing her to wail loudly enough to be heard throughout the dwelling. Her Grandmama was so put out by the treatment of her beloved granddaughter that she had thrown the unfortunate man's dinner to the dogs.

The old lady had heartily approved of the knight as a suitor but he wondered what she would think of him now, spanking her darling grandchild as he does. But then, had he himself not baulked when Rosamund had asked him to spank her to add spice to their activities in the bedchamber? The thought of striking that soft, creamy, skin had appalled him then. Not so now. He'd found by happenstance that regular discipline centred her, keeping her calm and bringing harmony to their domain. Nowadays, the only heat in an argument was that emanating from Rosamund's soundly spanked hindquarters.

Her demeanour had been less than respectful this morning but he had given her grace as he was up very early and mornings did not suit her disposition. Thinking on it, he felt he'd been too indulgent and perhaps a reminder of their roles would not go amiss.

With a sigh, he wondered whether he'd also been too lenient two days since, when she had visited relatives in a distant settlement. He had told her to take his new, sleek, chariot, more comfortable than her own and with more horses to pull it. Rosamund had never felt confident around horses and as far as she was concerned the fewer she had to deal with the better. Against his wishes, she decided to take her own chariot, which was smaller and easier to manage. She also took along her servant, Siri, to help with the navigation. The outward journey passed uneventfully and she spent a happy few hours with her kin. Disaster struck on the way back when they encountered a fallen tree blocking their path. Siri came from a distant land and sometimes could not understand Rosamund's speech. Unfortunately, this was one such occasion, not helped by the panic in her voice. They became hopelessly lost until another traveller set them back on the right course.

She had become tearful as Henry scolded her, saying she wished she could do better but that part of her brain must be missing. She'd never had any sense of direction, barely knowing her left hand from her right. He'd found it endearing at first but annoying after fifty years. He was particularly vexed as he'd called upon the Wizard to cast a spell on the new chariot, such that with a simple incantation the carriage knew where to go. Nevertheless, he'd been softened by her distress and forbore to add further to her woes by chastising her.

"I should have seen to it that she didn't sit comfortably for a se'enight," he thought. It was too late for that now but he could still put a sting in her tail. Slapping his thigh with resolve, he called for his falconer to send his fastest hawk with a message to his wayward wife:


Poor Rosamund, it seems her knight intends to turn her bottom the same colour as her scarlet gown.


Many thanks to Minelle for letting me use her wonderful new drawing and to Windy for the techy tutorial.

Monday 20 May 2019

In a Funk...

It started when my mum became poorly, just a few days before we were due to take her on a four-day break to the West Country. Fortunately, she rallied and we all had a good time. The hotel wasn't far from our daughter's home and Mum got to see the cottage she'd heard so much about. 

The real heebie-jeebies came on the day after we got home, when I realised I was going to be hard-pressed to cope with everything I needed to do before we went on another holiday just a week later. We're going across the Channel for eight days, driving through four countries. The trip is built around two concerts by my all-time favourite rock star. Harry planned it many months ago as my Christmas gift. I'm very excited but still have heaps to do before we set off.

I don't have time to write a proper post but I thought you might be amused by some of Harry's witty texts. You may have seen some of the ones he sends to remind me I have an appointment for a spanking but he also sends notice of fun times too, in his own inimitable way. I'm in blue and Harry's in grey  -  I probably didn't need to say that...

Fun With Texts 

I hope to catch up a bit in blogland whilst I'm away, Internet coverage permitting...


Thursday 25 April 2019

Decisions, decisions!

In a recent post Meredith remarked that Blogland was unusually quiet. That reminded me I had a post in my draft folder waiting to polish off. I pulled it up and, given that I hadn't posted since before Christmas, it all seemed irrelevant three months later. It's pretty long as well and I debated whether I should just draw a line under it and start afresh with more recent goings on. I shilly-shallied - would anyone want to read it or should I delete it? Well I still can't decide, so I'm leaving it to you. If you want to catch up with Rosie and Harry's first quarter of the year read on. If not, scroll on down until you see where I drew the line...

When Harry and I welcomed in the New Year, I lifted my glass and said "Here's wishing time will go a bit slower this year!" Well, that was a forlorn hope! January and most of February went by in a blur of juggling too many balls in the air. We had our reward towards the end of February though, with a ten day family trip to a French ski resort. Now, most of you know that I hate snow and would rather be sitting by a pool somewhere warm, but what made this holiday so special was that both our daughters were able to make the trip this year. Completing the line-up was our elder daughter's partner of twelve years, a great guy who fits right in. The plans had been months in the making and we were looking forward to being together as a family for the first time in several years.

From the moment we arrived at our destination a curious thing happened in the family dynamic. Harry was undisputed head of the household but our elder daughter took charge of running the apartment, which is usually my job. I remarked to Harry that she was doing a great job but was very bossy. He just smiled and said she was her mother's daughter. We mostly ate out but she produced some wonderful meals in the small but well equipped kitchen. One morning, when she'd had enough out on the slopes, she took me on a marvellous adventure, involving two cable car rides and a bus journey. The second cable car took us to the highest level of the mountain, where we had arranged to meet Harry and the other two at a restaurant. After a leisurely lunch, the skiers and snowboarder continued their fun on the piste as daughter and I made our journey back the way we came. I really enjoyed the outing and would never have had the nerve to do it by myself.

Despite being surrounded by snow, nothing could dampen my spirits and I was an angel the whole trip. Nevertheless, a couple of nights before the end of our stay, Harry and I were doing the dishes when he held up the wooden spoon he was washing and said, quietly, "Soon be home." I made a surprised face because I really had been good, no sass at all! He just smiled and got on with the job at hand.

Two nights later, we were getting ready to go out to dinner. I was in my undies when he squeezed my bottom and said he couldn't wait to get me home. Then he made the spanking sign to be sure I knew what he meant. The journey home was long and arduous, with torrential rain and high winds on both sides of the Channel. We fell into bed exhausted, the only thing on our minds being sleep! However, as he kissed me goodbye the following morning, he told me I had an appointment at 5 o'clock.

As 5 o'clock approached I went up to our room to wait but didn't undress. I had a feeling that on his first day back at work after a ten day break he wasn't going to get away in time and so it proved. In the meantime, I worked up a good head of steam because he hadn't phoned to let me know he had been held up. Eventually, he called to say he was just heading for home. The exhaustion in his voice dissolved all my annoyance and he was met at the door by a loving wife. He had to go out on errand after dinner and it was nearly 9pm when he got back.

We watched some TV, then I went to bed. I'd been under the duvet for about fifteen minutes when he came up and was unprepared to hear him clashing his two favourite paddles together. Noooo, not now please! He said if not now it would be first thing in the morning but he really wanted to get it over now. So I reluctantly crawled across his lap and he began rubbing, teasing me that my bottom would be quite tender after no attention for ten days. He used a mix of hand and both paddles and I was soon making a lot of noise. He finished up with the love/hate paddle and said that should ensure a good night's sleep. I fell asleep in his arms, with a hot bottom reminding me I was home.

Just four days later he went back to the resort on a boys-only trip. The next morning I got into my car bright and early to go shopping then on to the gym for my regular Saturday workout. I turned the key in the ignition and a message on the screen said 'Top up coolant.' Okay, that was no problem but it took me ten minutes. I started the car again and turned the stalk for the wipers; the front ones wouldn't work at all and the back one went like it was on drugs. I couldn't drive it that way, it was raining heavily. Fortunately, I have a roadster that I take out on high days and holidays and I swapped to that. My next-door neighbour owns a garage so I sent him an SOS asking him to check whether the car might need a new water pump and to sort out the wipers. I didn't get it back in time for my mum's dental appointment mid-week and had to take her by taxi; there's no way she could get in and out of the low-slung two-seater. That was a nuisance but these things are sent to try us, so the saying goes.

I like to have a project to keep me busy when Harry is away and this time it was to renovate the 75-year-old door between the kitchen and garden. I also wanted to repaint the kitchen woodwork. We have grey tiles in our kitchen and last year I spent a lot of time and effort, not to mention money, matching the paint to the tiles. It looked just right until it dried, after which it turned out to be completely wrong. I'd lived with it for a year but couldn't stand it any longer and began another search for the right hue. Eight tester pots later I had a tin specially mixed and it looked perfect. I told the guy who mixed it that if it didn't work this time I was going to strip it all off and paint it white. Well, the white looks clean and fresh and I have no intention of trying another fifty shades of grey to get the right one! I was pleased with the door, which I also painted white.

After a week of torrential rain and strong winds that had kept me awake at night, the sun shone and the wind dropped on the day of Harry's return. He came bearing gifts too, a bottle of my favourite perfume and another handbag for my collection.

We had two kinds of reconnection and once again all was right with my world.

I said it was long - am I giving Windy a run for her money?  

Here is the line for more recent news!

There's really not very much to tell in recent weeks, principally because I put my back out three weeks ago reaching down to pick up the vacuum cleaner. I get flares from time to time but this was the worst episode I've had in years. Harry came running when he heard my distress, laying me on the floor until the nausea passed. From experience we know it will heal in its own time; we just have to wait it out, with a combination of rest, exercise and pain relief.

I've always been self-sufficient and I hate having to rely on other people, even Harry. Our house is old and one day we'll get round to updating the bathroom with a walk-in shower but, until then, the shower is over the bath. Getting in and out with a bad back is impossible without help and Harry had to get in with me the first few times. We've never gone in for hanky-panky in the shower, even fancy ones in hotels, but he managed to make it fun, nevertheless. He had to go to work but he lit the fire in the sitting room for me before he left every day, filling up the coal scuttle to ensure I'd keep warm. I've been there before and know the drill but he still gave me instructions on what I should and shouldn't do. Going for a walk wasn't on his list but, after a couple of days, I needed some outdoor activity as well as the specific exercises for the back pain. I wasn't sure he'd approve but I really needed the fresh air and walking in the garden wasn't enough. Time was that I'd have gone anyway but things are different now, so I phoned him to ask what he thought. I could hear in his voice that he was pleased I'd asked him and he said it was a good idea but the post box at the end of the road was probably far enough. That's a ten minute walk and where I planned to go anyway, so we were both happy. I needed no reminder to take my phone with me; that jam spoon is horrid!

I was pretty miserable and it took a while to pull myself out of the doldrums. I'm still taking things a little easier than usual but, as you can see from this message Harry left for me a few days ago, we're pretty much back on track...

If you've read both parts you deserve an adult beverage... 

I promise I won't leave it so long next time!


Friday 21 December 2018

Bah! Humbug!

Well, here we are, just four days away from Christmas. I'd like to be able to say I'm all ready for the big day but, as usual, the festivities have rushed up to bite me on the bum. It's not as if we have a horde descending on us; there will just be Harry, me and my mum at Christmas dinner. The turkey and mince pies are in the freezer and the puddings have been maturing in the larder for weeks. All I need to make now is the brandy butter and cranberry sauce. I've cooked Christmas dinner in thirty-eight of the last forty years, so I have no worries about the meal itself.

The thing that gets me stressed is buying the presents. Give or take a few new friends and family members, we've being buying for the same group of people for many years and I am right out of ideas. What once was a pleasure has become a burdensome chore. Some of our family and friends feel the same way and have agreed only to send cards. Those who are aghast at that idea are, coincidentally, the hardest to buy for! I still have a couple of gifts to buy. I've left them to last, hoping inspiration will strike but, if not, one friend will get yet another fancy candle and the other a bottle of his favourite tipple.

I've had two "settle down" spankings this week but by tomorrow I hope to have done everything I need to do, except put up the decorations and dress the tree Harry bought earlier in the week. We'll do that together tomorrow evening and, hopefully, by then I'll be as serene as the glass angels that adorn the mantelpiece.

Despite our best intentions though, things can get fraught at this time of year, so here's a throwback from Christmas 2016 as a reminder to keep calm:

Even the most angelic among us can fall from grace when pressure mounts up...

When your HoH looks like this...

Take a deep breath...

Picture some fluffy kittens...

or pour yourself a glass of wine. Well, it is Christmas after all...

Make sure the only goose that gets cooked is the one in the oven...

    then all your spankings
     will be Good Girls

      (or Boys).

Merry Christmas to you all from Rosie and Harry

Monday 19 November 2018

Stolen Meme

Leigh stole this from Lindy. As it's being passed on, does that make Leigh a fence?

1. Name something people hate to find on their windscreen. A parking ticket.

2. Name something a man might buy before going on a date. Condoms.

3. Name something you cook in the microwave. Scrambled eggs.

4. Name an item found in an old man's wallet. A bus pass.

5. Something always stocked in the fridge. Champagne, of course.

6. Name an item found in Grandma's purse. Sweets (candy) for the grands.

7. A sport where you might lose a tooth. I guess not fishing.

8. Name a fruit that isn't round. A lemon.

9. Name something you put on a Christmas tree. Baubles.

10. Name five people that you think will do this. Pass. Leigh has already named the most      likely suspects!

Thanks, Sunny and Lindy!


Friday 16 November 2018

It's that time of year again!

Hi there! Is that you peeking out from those Venetian blinds? Why not come out and say "Hello?" I promise I won't bite. I know it might sound daunting; I found it hard to press that [Publish] button back on Love Our Lurkers Day 2013. I was so nervous, it took me three goes! As it turned out, the first blogger I reached out to was just as nervous as I was. It was her first LOL Day and mine was the first comment on her blog that day. We have been real life friends for a long time now.

At that time I had no cover identity, so I used the 'Anonymous' feature to comment and you are welcome to do the same. You could use a fictitious name in tandem with that, as I did. I chose the name Rosie, a nickname from my dim and distant past. I never imagined then that I'd one day be using it in a blog of my own!

Blogger tells me how many page views each post attracts, so I know that many people read without commenting. What it can't tell me - or anyone else - is who you are. I'd love to hear from you but, whether you come out to play or not, I'd like to thank you for reading my blog.

Love, Rosie