I wrote the original fairy tale back in 2016 and more recently posted it as a TBT. If you missed it, you can read it here
A Knight's Tale
The knight was not happy. He had been busy all day but, now that business was done, his thoughts turned to his lady wife, Rosamund. He loved her more than life itself but, "Odd's bodkins!" she could be a handful.
He blamed her Grandam for spoiling her. Rosamund was the first of her grandchildren and never lost her favoured place in her grandmother's heart to any of the dozen that followed. Her father had dared not discipline his child for fear of falling foul of the old lady, under whose roof they all lived. The knight heard tell that the child had once been upset by a harsh rebuke from her sire, causing her to wail loudly enough to be heard throughout the dwelling. Her Grandmama was so put out by the treatment of her beloved granddaughter that she had thrown the unfortunate man's dinner to the dogs.
The old lady had heartily approved of the knight as a suitor but he wondered what she would think of him now, spanking her darling grandchild as he does. But then, had he himself not baulked when Rosamund had asked him to spank her to add spice to their activities in the bedchamber? The thought of striking that soft, creamy, skin had appalled him then. Not so now. He'd found by happenstance that regular discipline centred her, keeping her calm and bringing harmony to their domain. Nowadays, the only heat in an argument was that emanating from Rosamund's soundly spanked hindquarters.
Her demeanour had been less than respectful this morning but he had given her grace as he was up very early and mornings did not suit her disposition. Thinking on it, he felt he'd been too indulgent and perhaps a reminder of their roles would not go amiss.
She had become tearful as Henry scolded her, saying she wished she could do better but that part of her brain must be missing. She'd never had any sense of direction, barely knowing her left hand from her right. He'd found it endearing at first but annoying after fifty years. He was particularly vexed as he'd called upon the Wizard to cast a spell on the new chariot, such that with a simple incantation the carriage knew where to go. Nevertheless, he'd been softened by her distress and forbore to add further to her woes by chastising her.
"I should have seen to it that she didn't sit comfortably for a se'enight," he thought. It was too late for that now but he could still put a sting in her tail. Slapping his thigh with resolve, he called for his falconer to send his fastest hawk with a message to his wayward wife:
Poor Rosamund, it seems her knight intends to turn her bottom the same colour as her scarlet gown.
Many thanks to Minelle for letting me use her wonderful new drawing and to Windy for the techy tutorial.