Tuesday 7 August 2018

Three Bags Full


This post was supposed to be a short snapshot of an event last week but, as I was trying to make sense of my reaction, it seemed to take on a life of its own, reminding me of another struggle with submission a few years ago.


Baa Baa Black Sheep have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full


One morning last week, Harry and I both woke before the 5.45am alarm went off. We lay there, quietly savouring the few more minutes before the clamour of a new day intruded. When the alarm went off I kept my eyes closed but soon became aware that Harry was rearranging the bedding. I turned to see what he was up to - what was the fat bolster doing on the bed? There's only one reason for that and I was soon draped over the thing having my bottom tanned. Afterwards, there was a short question and answer session and the last of my answers was, "Yes." 

"Yes, what?" came Harry's response.

I looked at him, puzzled.

"Yes, Sir." he said.

Nooooo! Over five years in and he's never asked me to call him Sir before. I don't want to! I can't do it! I won't!

He smiled, recognising my inner struggle and letting the demand go. It had been a 'just because' spanking, no discipline involved. Maybe he was just teasing me.


As spanking just for fun morphed into ttwd all by itself we never had 'The Conversation', so there was no discussion on what would or wouldn't work. If there had been, calling Harry 'Sir' would have been right up there with corner time on the 'Not on your Nellie' list. Harry remained oblivious to the concept of corner time until a couple of years later, when I wrote a Fantasy Friday story that featured it. Not long after, he gave me a four o'clock appointment and told me, if he were held up in traffic and wasn't home by the appointed time, I was to wait for him in the corner between the dresser and the wardrobe. Back then, an appointment was specifically for a 'reminder' and I would wait for him in our room, sitting on the bed, bottom already bared. There was no way I was going into that corner, half-naked or otherwise, and I told him so. He said that was up to me but non-compliance would be met with the wooden paddle.

After I was up and about and had drunk enough coffee to start my day, I walked into the corner to see how it felt. I barely managed ten seconds. I tried again at lunchtime but the result was just the same. I wasn't too worried about the wooden paddle. Harry might take me over my limit for my obstinacy but he isn't a tyrant. That wasn't the real issue. I knew he would be disappointed that I'd flouted his wishes. But I couldn't do it, I really couldn't, it was just too humiliating. I was still pretty much a lurker in Blogland then but I had a good friend in Jan, our lovely English Rose, and decided to email her for advice. Unfortunately for me, she was out for the day but, as four o'clock approached and Harry wasn't home, I felt sure she would have told me to do what he wanted. Harry was only five minutes late but it felt like an eternity in that corner. Jan's email, urging me to do as he wanted, pinged into my inbox halfway through the spanking. She thought he was probably testing his power and I'm sure she was right. He's never asked me to do it since.


I don't know what prompted Harry to throw in the 'Sir' response; nor can I make sense of my strong reaction, because I am not the same person I was five years ago. Oh, yes, I'm still the same strong, intelligent, person I always was but I am now a better, happier, version of me. One who revels in her husband's assertiveness and has more respect for him than ever before. One who will say "Sir" should he require it in future.



Rosie




19 comments:

  1. Rosie,
    I love this post as it shows the evolution of a spanked wife in all its glory.

    I do not call Jack "Sir". After his military career, with many saluting and calling him "Sir", he does not want to hear that word from me. Although things can and do change. I have been sent upstairs to wait, my bottom bare. So I do hear what you are saying.

    I also hear that you are happy, loved and cherished and that is news I already knew.

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    1. Great post, Rosie! Blogger acted up making it impossible to sign off and I wanted you to know how much I like your story, your real story!
      Meredith

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    2. Mere, blogger is such a pain! I often have trouble commenting on posts. This was a bit of a strange post to write; I didn't set out to relate the corner time event. I was more careful what I wrote in FF stories after that one!
      Rosie xx

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  2. It takes time but the progression from beginning to now has certainly been amazing and your story is a very interesting one. I know that we’ve all struggled with submission during our ttwd time but I love that you make the effort for your guy even though it feels strange. Good for you, no doubt he appreciates it. The love and respect shines through on this one in a big way. Thanks for sharing your story.

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    1. We've come a long way in the last five years but Harry is a benign dictator and I am on a pretty loose leash most of the time. It's not often that he asks me to do something I don't want to do but those are the times he digs his heels in! I'm glad you felt the love and respect, he really deserves both.
      Rosie xx

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  3. Hi, Rosie! I love when you gals are so honest and write in plain words what you are experiencing and thinking. There are times when we all feel the need to write in code to keep things private, and I understand that. But, it amazes me every single time when one of you writes a post and it resonates with my own CURRENT thoughts and struggles.

    I have butterflies in my stomach reading about how the corner time thing made you feel. Yep, I get that one totally. I have had a little nausea before in anticipation of such things and spanking, too. But, it isn't because I am scared of Storm, as I am not.

    I do call Storm, "Sir", but ONLY in the bedroom, but guess what? It still makes me uncomfortable every time I have to say it. I can't believe I still struggle with this, but it is true.
    One thing that helps me in this struggle is a bit embarrassing and very personal, but I am going to share it anyway because what is the point of being here in blog land if I do not? Okay, so here it is: I find it easier to say "Sir" when I am really worked up.... laughing.... when I am in the throws of passion, I can say all kinds of stuff that I would NEVER say otherwise. There you have it.

    Wonderful post, Rosie! I'm so glad you shared! Hugs! Windy

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    1. I loathed the idea of corner time, Windy, and it was every bit as bad as I thought it would be. Fortunately, that came straight off the table and I'll never have to do it again.
      I don't think I'd be able to call him Sir in the throes of passion but whatever works, works!
      Rosie xx

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  4. Hi Rosie, I love calling my hubby My Sir. I do it so often I have done it in front of everyone! It is just a nickname for us really I suppose. There are probably lots of different buttons that we all hate to have pushed. Harry is a nice chap I am sure he won't push it, just like the corner time!
    love Jan, xx

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    1. Hi Jan, you're right, Harry is a nice chap and probably won't push it too hard. I hope it will be during a fun time, it will be easier to say, then.
      Hope you had a fun time celebrating Grandgirl's birthday.
      Rosie xx

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  5. Hi Rosie, this is as great post and really shows how we grow and change in ttwd and how it is ever evolving. There are plenty of things that I initially thought no way that later became a regular fixture, including corner time and naked kneeling.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Hi Roz, I hope your new job is going well.
      There are things that I pushed against, like being told when to go to bed but, mostly, I just liked Harry's new-found assertiveness. Umm, I don't think I'd manage naked kneeling though.
      Rosie xx

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  6. thank-you for sharing your feelings with us. one never knows how one might react to something until one is in the moment experiencing it. I don't honestly know how I would react in a similar situation. I think I would find standing in a corner very difficult emotionally but I don't know for certain. Saying "yes, sir" however, I do sometimes just for fun. If my husband were to assert that I say it...it may feel different. Submission has so many layers of feelings. Hugs to you

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    1. That's a very insightful response, Terps. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
      Rosie xx

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  7. The "Sir" thing seemed to come pretty natural for me. I already used it and "Ma'am" to speak to my students when I was teaching. I realized how it made them feel respected and valued. I think that is how Sam feels, too. I also use "mister" frequently.

    I loved this little post, Rosie. It shows that ttwd is dynamic in our relationships. Thanks so much for sharing this one.

    Hugs Across the Pond,
    Ella

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    1. I've noticed how you address people as Sir or Ma'am when I've been with you, Ella. It doesn't come naturally to those of us on the other side of the Pond though. Ttwd is ever changing, no matter how long we've lived that way. Harry's occasional curveballs keep me on my toes.

      Soon we can share real hugs on the same side of the pond.
      Rosie xx

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  8. Good for you. I have to say though that I am not a in the corner girl and if I said Sir I think it would laugh. Not sure that would go over too well either.

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    1. I'm not an in the corner girl either, Leigh. That one time was more than enough for me. I can call Harry 'Sir' if he wants, though giggling is a possibility. We'll see how it goes!
      Rosie xx

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  9. EEk, i feel your discomfort. Thankfully i call BIKSS Daddy, now THAT i can do with ease. THere are times when i think he asks me to do stuff that wasn't explicitly talked about or that he knows i may feel uncomfortable about, but often its in small doses, and he's right alongside encouraging me. But still. Sigh. I guess we've all changed over the years...

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    1. Harry has changed a lot in the last five years, from long-time spank-no to very assertive spanky man! He does test me from time to time and is pretty well aware of my limits. So far, he hasn’t revisited the ‘Sir’ thing.
      Thanks for stopping by.
      Rosie xx

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